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#MondayMorning: Why do you Forsake Me?

Mondays, for me, are more difficult than most days. At least, usually. This has a lot to do with the fact that I have a day-job at the moment that has me on a basic AM to PM, Monday through Friday, schedule. Which is totally fine. The problem is that my body and mind get use to routines pretty quickly and change tends to trigger uncontrollable responses. So, even when I'm fully prepared for the week - when my alarm goes off Monday morning, my entire body starts to panic.

In the short span of the 2 day weekend, I'll have gotten re-accustomed to being at home. Then, this strange mental dance begins. My mind will begin to try to create as many scenarios as it can to keep me from leaving. It will make me feel sick, when I'm not. It will try to create "what if" scenarios that make me feel fearful. Or, a personal favorite, Because I'm constantly trying to work on my artwork and creative projects when I'm not at work - my brain tries to convince my body that it's got more important things to do at home and that it should fight with all it's got to keep me from leaving the apartment. Most days, I can keep all the mental chaos at bay - cope with the physical manifestations, and get through it. Knowing that I'm not in a great place financially, and that I can't afford to fuck up my day-job right now, is pretty good motivation. Unfortunately, it's not always all the motivation I need - and sometimes my mind wins the battle... and I lose.

I wanted to write this post up because I don't feel like it's possible for me to be the only person on the planet who goes through this sort of situational anxiety. In my personal experience, knowing that others go through the same shit you do on a regular basis can be helpful. If nothing else, it helps to remove that veil of solitude that falls over many of us when we convince ourselves we are alone in our struggles. We aren't, and it's important that we don't forget that.



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