I haven't really "gone" anywhere, so that probably sounds really fucking strange for me to be all "I'm making a comeback!" However, it feels totally appropriate for me at the moment. I'm sure many of you have noticed that I haven't totally been on top of my "game" lately. There's some reasons for that, and I'm hoping that the month of May will be much kinder to me than April has been.
I Goofed my Budget Math for April...
In my defense, I wasn't prepared to pay out of pocket for the car accident I didn't expect to get into in April. I also didn't know that the IRS was going to perpetrate some fuckery with my income tax return and cause it to be delayed MONTHS. That being said, I was already aware of the delay in my income tax return when I made the dumbass decision to go ahead and pay off the balance of a loan that was driving me insane paying off month to month.
My choice to pay that loan off left us with literally nothing left to live off of after all the other bills were paid. Thankfully, I was able to get some kind people to pay me for some art. Some even made donations without asking for anything in return. This was what the food my little family ate was purchased with for the month of April. This also kept gas in the truck to get me to and from the day job that keeps me afloat. Unfortunately, the stress of living off of the kindness of "strangers" caused some other issues entirely.
My Mental Health hasn't been so Great...
In fact, it's been terrible. I've been sort of open about some of the issues I've experienced during the month of April. Some of you, that follow me on Twitter, might remember when I thought I was having a heart attack and it turned out to be a fun, exciting, new set of panic attack symptoms. Between stuff like that and the abnormally high volume of sleep paralysis events I have dealt with this past month, I've been pretty drained.
It isn't any secret that when you're mental state isn't the greatest, your self-care habits usually suffer. This was very apparent during the month of April, for me. I was having trouble eating, sleeping, and finding energy to do things I needed to do. That included completing those commissions I mentioned before in a timely manner. That's going to change this month.
May 1st was the Light at the end of the Tunnel!
With the dawning of the new month, comes renewed hope and optimism! I made it through the shitty crucible that was the month of April and have emerged on the other side with a fresh paycheck and one less bill to pay. Meaning, for all the shit I endured due to my budget math fuck-up, I can now take comfort in knowing that MASSIVE drain of a loan will no longer be sucking a quarter of my monthly income into it's sucker-hole.
This Month I plan to:
Get better Organized
Tackle my Time Management issues
Defeat the Demons of Self-Doubt
Get caught up on Commissions
Make more updates to the Website.
Finish formatting the pages for my Art Book Campaign.
Here's to hoping I'm not being TOO optimistic!
Wish me luck!